Too much

Hii!! Welcome to Madding Slowly, the section where I literally talk about everything and nothing. Well, hello there, how are you? Honestly, today I feel like too much. You know those times when nobody understands you? Sometimes, I even feel like the people I call "friends" don't get me. Like, I am too much. And I know that I tend to exaggerate stuff because I get way too excited, or it's one of my obsessions, and I just end up feeling so weird with weird looks around me. People tend to like me, but at some point, they get tired of me, like a song you like at first, but it keeps on playing, and you get sick of it. 

It all started in my childhood. I remember the weird looks with my family, and it's surprising how even years after, I still feel the same. Too much like I cover a space I shouldn't or that I am crazy for feeling just way too much. But I just can't help it, I feel a lot. Like today, for example, I introduced my family to the movie called Whiplash ( if you haven't watched it, I highly recommend it). The first time I watched it, I fell in love with it. Like everything, the cinematic, music, and the obsession of the characters, I truly felt it in my core. I believe it moved something in my heart Lol. See, even now I do it. But the thing is, I was telling my sister in the final scene, "See the tension of the characters, imagine being there, how they feel, the details, how the camera is placed E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G," and she would just say shut up, let me watch the movie. And yes, I know it was a lot, but I just felt it. Experiences, words, movies, people, the freaking environment, I feel it all. Might be that this is the reason why I shut up most of the time when I am with my friends, and just think, so I don't cover space.

People tend to act cool, like nothing bothers them, but I just care too much, and it is so fucking weird. And yeah, I know people will tell you nooo it's okay you have to express yourself,  how can I when every time you tell me to stop? To stop being so emotional. I wonder if I'll ever feel normal, but at the same time, that weirdness in me makes me special, and I like getting out of the norm, just not some of the outcomes of it. Well, that is the rant of today. Thank you for reading. Sincerely, your dearest, not at all Silvia.